The Rodeo: Online Schooling in the Time of Covid-19

Malaka Gharib of the NPR blog Goats and Soda has created a comic that explains COVID-19 in simple terms for children. Gharib is the creator of I Was Their American Dream, a graphic memoir about her upbringing as an immigrant with parents from Egypt and the Philippines; the book was chosen as one of SLJ’s Best Graphic Novels of 2019.

The day came. Quietly, unlooked for, relatively unannounced—at least not preemptively announced at my High School. I left school on a Friday afternoon in March, set to pick up sick-work for my own elementary school student at his school. (No, he didn’t have SARS Co-V2. He had strep throat.) As I pulled into Midway elementary, my husband called, “Did you see the text from the school district?” he asked. “Nope,” was my brief reply.

“They’ve instructed elementary students to take their devices home this weekend,” he explained. “Ah, good to know. I’m here at the school now, and I can pick up both devices for the boys,” I returned. “I’ll call you back in 15 minutes, okay?” And that was the beginning of the new reality which most of us face.

Thirty minutes later our Governor announced a “soft-closure” of school. Two weeks later, a May 1^st extension, and after two more weeks, it was announced that our schools will be closed for the rest of the school year.

We—the community, the parents, the teachers, the students, the administrators, the staff, individual states, the nation—let each new wave of distance sink in. (While some were desperately unable to gain distance because of their circumstances, and I’ll address this harsh reality later.) But sometimes the tide has risen so quickly, as each new day dawns on our brave new world of online schooling, we’re still caught off-guard, brought to turmoil, left (some) in tears.

For those of you who are struggling—and, yes, I’m pretty sure I’m speaking to a universal WE—TAKE HEART! I know that this road has been constantly changing, ever updating, inundated with crashing breaker upon crashing breaker of the new, the not-normal, the unknown. Yes, it has felt like a dystopian reality has been thrust upon many of us; and yes, I understand that holding the education of your own children in your own purview has got to be scary.

I spent the entire first weekend after the school closure working. When I say working, I mean that I put in two solid twelve-hour days. Scouring my lesson plans, shifting my expectations, creating a video welcome, expeditiously scanning text into PDF, drafting a parent email, assuring my students that their current assignments were still due, grading my current assignment load, and scrupulously re-designing my instructional rubric to fit our new reality—online schooling.

I’m a teacher. I share this not because you didn’t read the last paragraph where I explained all of the hard work and effort that went into shifting my classes to online models, but because I want you to understand that I feel you, parents, when you describe the hardship of schooling all of your people at home. Wednesday of the following week I entered upon an educational arena that I will hence forth and forever refer to as “The Rodeo.” We’re god-fearing cow and sheep folk here where I live, and I can only describe that those first few days of EVERYONE online, everyone collapsed into one space, one classroom, one life was a POOP-SHOW to behold.

My husband on a conference call with the East-coast. Myself on a Zoom meeting with my teaching team. My sons on a host of platforms, apps, and technological learning tools that left my head spinning, and my heart overflowing with passwords that I hopelessly cast into the soft-shod muck of my working memory.

Holy cow. We were failing. We were failing, and we were going to fail. It took my breath away. This instant shift, and equally instant knowledge– that while I felt aptly, even confidently, prepared to transition (with a 24 hours-worth of weekend-work) to teach eleventh graders both the art and science of reading, writing, speaking, and thinking with the flip of a switch– my own little family, my own pride-and-joy, my own little think tank was going to fall flat on its face in the mutton-busting, teeth brown with animal crap and tears, and there was nothing I could do about it!

Then Thursday dawned, and we were all okay. The kinks were there. You better believe there were kinks, and still are some. But we began to piece together our new reality. My second grader, who is bright, and silly, and a handful to be around for eight hours at a stretch, was completely overwhelmed just to see the “to-do” list his teachers posted. “Thirteen pages of math, MOM!” he yelled. As I tried to explain that those 13 pages were really just slides– on a Power Point, or a Nearpod, or a … you fill in blank with the app your student is using to ingest and then submit work—which meant that there were only THIRTEEN PROBLEMS. In total. Much less than he had done for his homework the week before.

So it has gone in our home. Sometimes we are able to re-visualize, re-imagine, re-calibrate our thinking about school. We’re riding high and feeling the adrenaline of success for every one of those eight seconds. My oldest son has quietly gone about his work, day-in and day-out, nary a hiccup. But we had some good old-fashioned ride-the-bull sessions when he couldn’t explain to me why his work was left “unsubmitted” on some of his assignments. We’re working it out. Sometimes we still get bucked off the bull.

But it is also very obvious to me that my children’s teachers got the news about school closures, went out to their own virtual rodeo arenas, got on the saddle bronc assigned to them, and WENT. TO. TOWN! (Go Wranglers!) We came back, to online school, to a system that was ready to deliver learning– targeted, essential learning– to each of my children in practically the eight seconds it takes to ride a saddle bronc. The execution, the preparedness, the effort, the instructional stability, the stamina, and the standards were astounding. Their style, their grace, their precise timing was everything. My children weren’t going to sit out this pandemic twiddling their thumbs. They were going to be learning. Truly gaining in knowledge, education, and standards-based instruction for their grade-level. It was and IS remarkable.

I also want parents, students, community members, and administrators to know that MY STUDENTS ARE SHOWING UP! My students are here. They are in their classrooms. Some of them in record displays of participation. It is so easy to give High School students a bad rap. To label them with some derogatory generational disparagement. But I want you to know that my students have been there for me as much as I have been there for them. They are writing, they are reading, they are thinking, they are responding to online discussions, and submitting FlipGrids full of poems, and rocking this brave new world in a way that I could not possibly have imagined.

This online learning platform IS accessible, IS relevant, IS possible, IS working. And, no, in my opinion, it is not the best there is to offer. I am an eternal advocate for the face-to-face classroom. I love the people. There will always be outliers. There will be those whose situations, livelihoods, family environments, and living situations have been thrown into such chaos by this change that they will not be able to either succeed or survive in this online learning platform. We should begin to plan for their recovery now. How will we offer make-up credit, re-teaching, re-assessment, and re-vitalization of those whose educational opportunities really did go down the tube when social distancing became a reality.

But above all, I want us to remember, and I believe that this moment in education has re-taught us, the incredible resiliency of the human spirit. We are all experiencing this rodeo together and yet separately. Almost all lived human experiences are like that—individual and collective. My hope is that we’ll continue to reach out with that human spirit of support and core care. I hope we will ban together in care and community-interest not just blast our latest emotion into the social media echo chamber. But take up the banner of education because it is one that we all must bear. Here’s to that next great ride of Old Glory around the rodeo arena in real-time. As the horse picks up speed, and the wind takes that banner of freedom into endless ripples of hard work, good will, and committed effort, may we remember learning and pedagogy are built upon the backs of those educational bronc riders—past, present, and future. You’re one of them now. We are all in this together.

Thanksgiving Wardrobe Picks

Brown Sweater, Black Skinny Jeans, Beaded Top, Gold Velvet Top, Tee Shirt (similar), Black Spotted Top, Leather (Pleather) Skirt (similar)

Oh man! How long has it been? Too long! As always, friends, I’m over here trying to do the BLEND– creating meaningful space for the most important things in my life!! Something I frequently return to is that this space really IS meaningful to me. I may not have as much time as I once did to devote to editorial, but I certainly still enjoy pulling together a mix of life and style content. So here’s my latest guide to fall dressing with a special emphasis on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving I’m keeping it casual. However, I’ve found that Thanksgiving often calls for special touches– a cozy sweater, a little bit of leather, and something with sparkle. This hint of sparkle is practically part of my genetic code as I remember back to my grandmother’s gold lame mumu she donned each Thanksgiving of my childhood. I’m really digging all of the golds, browns, and elevated neutrals that fall style invariably forecasts. Not only is fall extra-special when it comes to neutrals, you can also have fun adding texture and layers as the temps drop.

One thing about this style mash-up is that each of these pieces can be subbed in throughout the weekend to fit your schedule. Is everyone in your family wearing jeans and a tee shirt for dinner? Great! You’ve got a great graphic option. Are you heading out to a special performance or desert soiree? Fabulous, you’ll throw on your leather skirt and velvet top, plus leopard mules. Are you heading to a pre-feast neighborhood football game? Awesome. You can reach for a sweater, jeans, beanie, and cozy coat to keep you warm while you cheer on your mates. Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Cozy Coat, Hat, Velvet Ribbons, Turquoise Ring, Birkenstocks, Sneakers, Leopard Mules, Rings, Oversize Jean Jacket

 

Be kind (to yourself)

I’ve wanted to write a New Year, 2019, post all January. I want to talk about what I am pledging to do with my time this year, and I want to find out what you have set as your goals or resolutions for 2019. I am realizing that there are many reasons that folks don’t subscribe to the January goal setting frenzy, but I think that because it’s my birthday month I feel additionally on-board with the resolution setting set.

If you abhor resolutions that center around an arbitrary date of the year you may consider this post alternatively titled “Lessons from Dedicating 30 Days to Yoga.” You see, I began this year with many intentions– like bringing more peace and patience into my life, and renewing my commitment to not buying new things. For reference, that didn’t really work out for me as a year-long endeavor. Mostly because I came to the project grossly underprepared to support myself. More on that later.

But this year, I am still evaluating and cornering my spending habits, I’m still seeking to be a parent that speaks more peace to my children, and I’m still trying to be a human that is more patient with her fellow humans at large– in the classroom, on the road, at the grocery store, on the news, and on and on.

Instead of putting immense pressure on myself to be all that I wanted to be on January 1, I decided that I would first engage in a yoga practice that lasts the entire month of January. This was one of the best moves I’ve made in terms of beginning a New Year, and I hope I’ll remember how cleansing, enlightening, grounding, and opening this journey has been.

One of these personal revelations is a two-part story with yet another alternative post title: “The difference between being hard on yourself and kind to yourself (even honest with yourself) is not that you need to stop being too easy on yourself.”

Allow me to explain. Four nights ago I was doing Adriene’s (Yoga with Adriene) Dedicate 30 Day Yoga Journey. Nearing the end of her practice we were lying in a final Shavasana. The practice had been about sweetness and Adrienne was saying, “Sometimes it’s not only about WHAT we do but HOW we do it. Consider that.” Now this is an idea that I subscribe to. We should all think about what we are doing. Why we are doing it, how we are doing it are keys to the ‘what’. Adriene went on, “Are you more in the habit of being hard on yourself or can you get more in the habit…”

My video stopped streaming at this exact moment. And I was left trying to figure out what Adriene was going to say next. The truth is that when I finished her statement the only thing that I could come up with was, “Or are you in habit of being too easy on yourself. Do you need to push yourself harder?” In other words, do you cut yourself a break too often, are you lazy, apathetic, flawed? And on and on and on with the self-denigrating comments. I was ready to get on the wagon and stone myself for being a push over. Why didn’t I see that this was the same thing as being TOO HARD ON MYSELF?

My video eventually reloaded and Adriene said, “Are you more in the habit of being hard on yourself, or can you get more in the habit of finding practices that help you, get you, in the habit of being sweet to yourself. EVEN WHEN YOU MESS UP.”

Stunned silence from my mat.

Can you be kind to yourself? Even when you mess up? Can you? Can I?

This brings me to my next story. Hang with me here. There was once a girl who couldn’t spell. That girl was me, I’m still that girl. And I don’t know when I began to believe or it was pointed out to me that I could not spell. (I hope at this point you are already seeing the irony of this reality as I am an English teacher. An English teacher who can’t spell.) Apparently, not even being a school Spelling Bee champion served to solve this self-image notion.

But this not-being-able-to-spell thing has been something that has haunted me for my entire life. Not just academically, but not being able to spell became something of a self-forecast for all of my failings, all the stuff I couldn’t do. It became a sign that I wasn’t cut out for success.

Well from this girl– me– came a sweet little boy– P. As it turns out, he showed some of the same phonetic unawareness that his mom had/has. That mom– me– told this little boy– my son– that he “could not spell.” Just like that, “You can’t spell.” Just like I had been told.

Now I tried to forecast some solutions to this problem by explaining that he could memorize words and thereby overcome his failing. “We can’t spell.” I kept telling him, like we were rowing this boat called “Can’t Spell” together. Fast forward to Parent-Teacher-Student conferences 2019.

As we concluded our meeting, my son’s sweet teacher asked if I had any questions for her and I felt that this would be a great time to bring up the spelling thing. I explained, “I can’t spell. And I’m worried that this might be the case for my son. It appears that he doesn’t have phonetic awareness.”

His teacher stoped me in my tracks and said, “Oh! That sounds just like me! Your son can spell, he just needs to practice with different variations of each phonemic pairing. It wasn’t until I was a teacher that I  realized there were certain vowels and sounds that were patterned through language. But you know what? (She turns to my son.) For every one of these patterns there are times when the rules apply and there are times when the English language breaks those rules! You CAN spell!” She declared with certainty.

Just like that. “YOU CAN SPELL!” With all of the vigor and certainty of a seasoned educator who knows that as she bolsters students to believe in themselves they will fulfill those prophecies and SPELL.

I was stunned into silence again. Here I had been telling myself (for years) that I couldn’t spell. I had been telling my son that he couldn’t spell. I had been practicing this can’t over and over and over. My son’s teacher continued, “The wonderful thing about spelling is that you do need to memorize how to spell words. Once you can recognize different patterns like ‘r’ controlled vowels– er, ur, ir, or– then you can begin to memorize which words use which patterns.”

I nearly fell off my chair. More than that, I was ashamed for telling my boy that he couldn’t, that he didn’t, that he wasn’t able to. Nothing better than strapping yourself to your failings and then just clinging to them! In that moment I remembered my yoga, the moment that I was so certain that my instructor was going to tell me that perhaps if yoga wasn’t working for me or working a change on or in me I was being too easy on myself.

I realized that I am constantly falling into this belief that if I will just push harder, do more, press into my present with more resolve, then– and only then– will I come out conqueror. But in those moments, on that mat and in that classroom, I realized that I need to be a whole lot kinder to myself and to those around me.

You, my beautiful friend, thank you for reading this post. I’m learning, slowly and steadily, to pass on the power of believing in yourself to my kids and to my deeper self. You, me, we all need to be more kind to ourselves. Happy 2019!

XX,
Megan

Winter Adventure: Packing List

While on winter break, we’re headed North to catch some extra snowflakes. I know that many of my readers are native to four-season climates, but it’s always helpful to have a go-to packing list for winter weather and winter adventures regardless of whether you’re out in the cold on the regular or a sun-baby leaving the palm trees for the slopes!

One thing that I’ve learned over my many cold-weather packing experiences is that it can sometimes be hard to pare down your choices when it comes to frozen conditions and that the frigid elements make what you put in your bag even more important.

My short list is– two to three sweaters, two flannel shirts, two pair of jeans, two base layers, one pair of snow pants, two pair of boots, two coats, one pair of gloves, one winter hat, one buff (or neck gaiter), five to seven pairs of socks, and one pair of pajamas.

Sweaters x 3

First up, my very favorite piece of clothing—The Sweater. Sweaters really are a necessary part of packing for winter travel and adventure. My all-time favorite travel sweater is this gray merino sweater from Patagonia. It’s a men’s sweater from a few years ago, and I have gotten more wear out of it than any other sweater I own. If you know me, that is saying a lot because I am a sweater horse and have a collection that is well-loved and well-worn.

The key to a good sweater for adventure is to invest in some real wool. I could sing the praises of wool all. day. long. The important thing about wool is that it traps and keeps water and wetness away from your skins, dries quickly, and maintains warmth, so while you may be wet and even sweaty you’re much more likely to stay warm and toasty in wool. Cotton is the opposite, it keeps water next to your skin, is very heavy when wet, and takes a very long time to dry. The best option for snow shoeing, skiing, and snow biking is wool, hands down.

Flannel x 2

Though flannel is often made from cotton, I have one thick Woolrich button-up that’s also made from wool and I bring this on every winter excursion. I will also break my no cotton rule for flannel as they are comfy extras and can easily be layered under a sweater, coat or other heartier piece of outerwear. I have several favorites from Madewell including this option.

Jeans x 2 + Snow Pants

I bring jeans for days or times that I don’t plan on being active like a nice dinner out after a day of skiing, or our plans to ring in the New Year with friends in Sun Valley. Jeans are great for long travel days in a plane or a car so I always pack a couple pair. My current faves are a high-rise pair from Madewell with a button fly.

I also love this ponte pair from James Jeans. Because these are old and sold out I’ve scoped out two other pairs you might want to look at, HERE, HERE, and HERE. They are the perfect blend of refined because they have back pockets like jeans, but they are made of poly so they feel and wear more like a legging.

Base Layers x 2

Crucial to all winter travel, especially if you are mixing in outdoor adventures are base layers. I also recommend wool base layers and it’s good to do your homework in this area because there are so many different variety of wool under-layers. For temperate climates I love this light weight Smartwool underlayer. But for a thicker, substantive pair you might want to try the new Patagonia capeline air base layer. They’re made from a merino-poly blend and the reviews are tops!

Gloves x Hat x Buff

Also very necessary to keeping warm and wonderful is protecting all of your extremities. I have been wearing a pair of Gordini gloves for several years now. Partially this is because I don’t downhill ski and partially it’s because I haven’t needed anything warmer. This year my sweet hubby bought me a sweet pair of Hestra gloves and my life has forever changed. Gone are the days of frozen flanges. I couldn’t be more stoked.

The hat I’ll bring is this fun red beanie. Pick something warm and why not go for a puff-ball on top if you’re feeling winter-festive? And let’s not forget that neck. I wear a neck gaiter nearly every time I head out into the frost. They are a must have if the wind picks up, and it is always nice to warm up your lips on long slogs.

Socks x 5

You can never have too many pairs of socks. Well… I guess if your sock stash caused you to have to bring another carry-on you may have over-done-it! I like to bring five to seven pair of socks. Here’s the thing, if your feet are cold add a pair of socks. Doubling up on socks has saved me on more snow shoeing expeditions than I can count.

Our favorite sock fetish right now is definitely Stance. However most of the ones I’ll bring are actually these wool cycling socks that I like to steal from my hubby. They are plush! Your feet will be nice and roasted when you’re finished.

Boots x 2

I’ll bring three pair of boots with me on this little adventure– my Sorel Joan of Arctics, my Asolo hiking boots, and a pair of more fashionable booties, THESE if you are interested. If we weren’t traveling by car, I would need to rethink my shoe choices and stick to two pair of boots. I am also toying with throwing in my favorite winter slippers by Haflinger. These babies keep out the cold on any frozen floor.

Coats x 3

For a trip that consists of space saving measures I would bring a packable down coat, and my wool winter coat. Because we are in our own rig I’m bringing my Gortex shell as well. I just updated to the Patagonia Powder Bowl jacket, but I had my last Gortex shell for almost fifteen years. The fact of the matter is if you buy quality your cost per wear often plummets.

7 Ideas to Update Your Family Smartphone Habits

Christmas is upon us! As we skate through the holiday season I wanted to share some of the ways that I have found to both evaluate and update smart phone usage in your home. After all, the Holidays are a time to connect with our families, enjoy time spent with friends, and remember with gratitude the blessings of the past year.

In the age of digital-everything, I’ve found that while I might have a desire to be on my phone scrolling and rolling my way across the internet, my propensity to pick up my phone doesn’t always bring me what I’m looking for– JOY! In fact, the more I spend precious weekend minutes (and hours) on my phone the more bothered, bugged, and dissatisfied I become.

Engaging in an era of constant technological reinvention can feel exhausting. However, as we realize that smartphones are tools– tools that have a very functional, serviceable purpose, yes– the better we will be able to stave off the smartphone toll– disconnection, dissatisfaction, and disappointment.

My phone can call up my latest dinner recipe, play my favorite song-set, cue my most recent to-do list, and give me access to my current yoga routine. To me, these are all winning ways to use my phone. I can also admit that I’ve used my phone as a babysitter (hello most recent trip to the salon), and I’ve used it as a kid-entertainer (hello date night for mom and dad). We call this the “cell phone trick”, but as parents we always need to check ourselves in terms of how much screen-time we’re allowing. Kids can’t and shouldn’t be responsible to either enable or limit their own media consumption. That job still rests on the shoulders of thoughtful parents.

Getting your Instagram fix is fine, but if you find yourself scrolling mindlessly through your feed over and over you might want to choose a few other activities that keep your attention and bring human interaction.

Add an app to track your usage

One of the best ways to find out how much you really use your phone is with an app to track your usage. With a recent iOS update, my phone began giving me a weekly “Screen Time” report. Now whether this was always available on my phone and I didn’t use it, or whether this is a recent Apple installment, this weekly Screen Time report is a great way to get a picture of your phone use!

I’ve really liked knowing how much time I’m spending on my screen, and it enables me to see how much time is spent on the individual sites on the internet as well as on apps that my kids use like Minecraft. For example, last week I spent a total of 20 hours on my phone. To me that sounded like A LOT. But when I saw how much I spent on my meal planning website, the clock that I use as a timer in my class each day, and the time that my kids played on various apps (about 5 hours total). I felt as though I was a more aware user. For me this awareness brings the opportunity to evaluate, re-set if necessary, and scaffold my phone use for the next week!

Put your phone away at dinner. Period.

This hard and fast rule has really changed the atmosphere in our home. I’ll give my husband and I a pat on the back for continuing to honor family dinner, and I’ve written about the power and importance of this daily ritual here on Refined + Rugged. But making sure that family dinner doesn’t devolve into a family internet surf has really helped to make the precious moments of the day we get to spend together even more meaningful.

A lot of families have cell phone use rules, and I hope that yours is one of them. My philosophy is that having rules and usage guidelines that apply to EVERYONE in a family helps to communicate to ourselves and to our kids that the human is in charge of the phone not vice versa.

As we have set specific times that phones are not allowed or not present, I have watched the way that our interactions with one another grow in meaningful ways. We spend more time outside, we spend more time talking and laughing together, we spend more time reading, playing instruments, getting in a workout, doing homework, participating in activities in our community. As our cell phone usage goes down, our engagement with one another invariable increases, and our happiness quotient generally rises. Win!

Create Times when Phones are Acceptable

Along with being sure that you have hard and fast rules for putting away your phone, it is also wise to make sure that you have times when phones are appropriate. For example, we really do take dates in our small town and leave our boys at home to play games on the phone, watch TV, or generally have screen-time. Because we are only a few blocks away, it feels like getting more bang for our buck to have the smartphone act as our babysitter.

We also have a weekly Minecraft club at our library. I was originally reticent to sign the boys up for an hour of game time each week. However, instead of causing MORE screen-time later in the week, it has allowed us the freedom to play and game and the freedom to say, “No, you had your screen-time on Wednesday.”

Saturday morning is another time we allow our kids time on the smartphone or smart-device. Hard working parents need breaks, but I have found that it is best to have these as scheduled times. If my people know that Saturday morning is one time they will be able to watch television, play Minecraft, and use apps like “The Elements”, we all have this screen-time to look forward to rather than allowing it to rule every minute of our lives or make a fight when one isn’t needed.

Remember that Small People are Watching

The more our world engages in the digital universe the more we may find ourself interfacing with technology. Remember that individuals, partners, families really can make a difference in digital citizenship by evaluating and then limiting smartphone and smart-device usage.

As I look at the way I use my smartphone, I have been reminded that in most cases when I am on my phone some small set of eyes is watching. Try this for an afternoon or a day. Turn off your phone. Put it in a drawer or in a desk and then go out with the purpose of observing the way that other people use their phones.

Think about the fact that for most children the ideas, images, examples, and trend-setters for smartphone use are the adults in their life. For the most part they walk about without phones watching the way the the world around them chooses to interact with technology. What would the smartphone world look like to you if you were a child?

For example, we have strongly encouraged reading in our household. A few nights ago my boys were soaking in the warmth of their good reads in front of a glowing fire. I have been guilty, in these moments of silence when my children are engaged, to take the time to peruse my phone. In other words, my children are engaged in the real world, they are learning, reading, growing and expanding their sweet minds, and I am taking my “phone time”.

How does this look to them? Because as much as I may pretend to limit my smartphone usage, there are certainly times when I should make the executive decision to TURN IT OFF. I made the choice then and there to grab a book, highly recommended to me by our school librarian, and read.

Make a list of all of the activities you like to do without your smartphone

Maybe you’re not an avid reader so picking up a book isn’t appealing to you. Instead of a book, what you should look for is an enterprise that excites you that is not linked to your phone! While writing this post, I was encouraged to make a list of all of the activities, projects, and endeavors I can opt into before I pick up my phone.

While your list may look different from mine, the idea is the same– make the time and take the opportunity to do things that don’t involve digital isolation. Even when you are commenting a friend’s Facebook post or latest Instagram update you do so in a vacuum in that very moment. You are all alone. What are other things you can do to keep your spirits high and your outlook positive in the coming year?

When you’re stuck scrolling, just turn it off!

In the end, if you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through your phone on a Friday evening– STOP! One of the most powerful realizations about your phone is that you are in charge. So if you do end up in the internet’s web far out into the galaxy of google searches, it might be best for all to simply put the phone down and walk away.

Take Stock of your Situation

Just as you might look at the Screen Time stats on your phone, take the time to evaluate your phone usage over time. Sometimes we take a couple steps forward and then a couple of steps back. I am advocating a constant analysis of the ways which smartphones can be corralled, limited, and controlled as a mode of human convenience rather than a time-sucking monster.

My ultimate concern is that we model for our little humans the kind of digital citizens we hope that they will be one day, and that we leave the rising generation with the skills to realize that they are the masters of the digital world, not vice versa.

I hope your Holiday really is merry and bright. I hope that the love and connection you create transcends technology. I hope that reigning in your phone will put you back in the driver’s seat of your sleigh. Sending you love and well wishes from an average human fighting the good fight to unplug, unwind, and fully enjoy this special time of year. Happy Friday, friends.

XX, Megan

 

 

Getting Real

I’m looking down the pipeline toward the end of 2018. What?!? I cannot believe we’ve come this far, can you? I’m flabbergast (if you didn’t gather from the over-abundance of exclamation points)! As we come in toward the finish line, I’ve paused to think about some of the things that I accomplished this past year and some of the my hopes and dreams for the year to come.

When I began Refined + Rugged I was a stay-at-home parent with two small boys. I wanted a way to push myself to write everyday, but I felt as though I didn’t want the writing to be too complicated or that I had time to devote to larger publishing projects. I wanted a way to document my style and to talk about fashion. I still love styling up wonderful outfits, though my daily wardrobe is decidedly more professional.

I also wanted a way to journal pieces of my life that would otherwise be lost! So here I am back at my computer because I want to dip my toe back into this thing called blogging. Really I view this as an online journal, a repository for the same stuff I wanted to capture the first time around– substance and some of my family goings on, style and some of my daily outfits, self and some of the stuff that floats around in my head.

As of late I’ve been inspired by some fantastic bloggers who continue to blog to their very own beat, and I’ve had a talk with myself that goes something like this: “You don’t have to do this the way that everyone else does this. You don’t have anything to prove by being part of the online community of lifestyle and tastemakers. You don’t have to be any brand but your own.”

Yes, here I am, thinking about how I can continue to create content for this site while I work at being the best partner and mom that I can, employed in my dream job as an English teacher which takes A LOT of my energy and time, and still living in one of the most beautiful places on earth. I hope that I’ll be able to take this a day at a time and continue to offer creative inspiration to others. Heaven knows I need encouragement, support, care, and voice. I consider this a tiny opportunity to be heard.

Thank you all who have followed my blog from day one, those who continue to follow me on this journey, or those who have begun to follow me at some point along the way. I treasure the chance to share on this platform and can’t wait to employ everything I’ve learned about the comma splice in the last year! LOL.

XX,

Megan

Oregon: Road Trip Part II

To the Coast

Portland to Crater Lake, Crater Lake to Bend the beginning of our road trip is posted in Oregon Road Trip: Part I (here). After a few days in Bend it was time to move on in our journey. We packed up the van and headed to the coast where we planned to spend the rest of our trip.

The Oregon coast is one of the most breathtaking places to visit. Rocky and craggy, moody and weather beaten, the weather can be warm (rarely), but it is almost always characterized by hoary morning hazes and sometimes torrents of rain even in the summer months. Our first stop was Wax Myrtle State Park (pictured above and below).

Oregon: Road Trip Part I

Embracing Van Life

This summer we headed out on an epic Oregon road trip in Olive, our 1985 Volkswagen Westfalia Weekender. Over the life of Refined + Rugged I’ve shared some of our other camping, hiking, biking adventures, and road trips,  and I wanted to add this trip to the list of fabulous vacations that practically anyone could re-create. This entire trip could also be scheduled for fall through this gorgeous state. Hint, hint, get behind the wheel and live!

Spring Style in the City

I’m throwing it back to this outfit from Spring 2016 for part of this post. Why? Because I still LOVE each one of these pieces, I still wear each of them, and this rig is the perfect example of Spring layering at its finest! It’s also an outfit that is perfect for travel to your favorite city during Spring.

Travel Essentials: 9 Carry-On Must Haves

 

Water Bottle, Sneakers, Snack, Headphones, Breath Freshener, Book, Luggage, Travel Wrap, Face Mist.

This past week I traveled with my mom and sisters, and my sweet Aunt Paula to Chicago! It was such a wonderful trip. My travel companions were the highlight of my trip, but Chicago put on a beautiful show. Seriously, I could rave about Chicago all day. I really didn’t expect to love the city as much as I did.

Staples: Closet Essentials x 15

Is it possible to have staples that span every season? I live in a pretty well defined climate that boasts four robust seasons. We’re really in the thick of Spring right now which means that it snowed seven inches last weekend, and then slid into this beautiful lull of sunny and 60s. Now this weekend we’re back to Winter-like conditions with flying sleet and another warm spell in the coming week.

Work Wardrobe: 5 Outfits for Spring

 

Shirt, Pants, Shoes, Earrings

As Spring approaches I often look at ways that I can add some happy notes to my wardrobe. To me, Spring style means an infusion of wardrobe options that have a more playful, whimsical, and flirtatious appeal. Here are a few Spring trends that I am digging:

Shopping Your Closet: Winter Boho

I hope this post won’t come across as overly light. Especially as compared to the one that I wrote at the beginning of this week. It has been another hard week. There have been more hardships at school, but I am going to return to this topic when I have renewed energy and time to go about giving the topic of school safety the effort and investment it deserves.

My Turn: Student Safety and Gun Safety

Image: Ginger Williams Cook

I want to take you all with me on my journey last week. It is a road that I should have foreseen when I took a job as a teacher, when I turned my education into educating. But I have to be frank, and tell you that I did not clearly see that I would one day be communicating a classroom plan to each and every one of my students as to how we would “Run, Hide, Fight”– the mantra of school shooting safety.

I want you as fellow parents, and grandparents, and citizens, and teachers, and administrators, and police officers, and lobbyists, and politicians to know what it felt like to stand in front of a classroom of students and tell them that what I want most for them when they come to school is their safety and their continued ability to earn an education that will carry them into the world as thoughtful, hard-working, problem-solving, critical reasoning, readers, writers, thinkers, and speakers who are career and college ready.

I want you to know that I saw both depth of understanding and depth of fear, both depth of care and depth of concern, both the need to be loved and the need to show love, both the desire to be safe and the desire to ensure the safety of others in my students’ eyes as we spoke. If you were standing next to me in my classroom this week, your faith in humanity would have grown three sizes those days.

I hope it won’t surprise you that not one of my students rolled their eyes when we talked about our classroom safety plan. Not one of them asked why we had to engage in such a boring assignment, or if they could take a nap, or if we could talk about something else. None of the usual millennial stereotypes we place on this generation of youth. Yes, I get all of these non-plused reactions to the daily English concepts, learning assignments, creative activities, and formative assessments I give in my classroom. I’m not offended by this in the least. I teach high school English. It’s not everyone’s favorite subject, and six hours in a school desk could put anyone on the verge of a needing a nap. But not one mention of an out, an alternative, an apathetic reply shows you how important this topic is to our youth.

My students were keenly listening, hyper aware, compellingly conversational, profoundly questioning, solution creating, statistic gathering. I know one thing for sure– after this week-and-a-half spent discussing the ways we could best hide in silence, with cell-phones off, not a word uttered, backpacks filled with computers and books placed over our hearts as a best defense against bullets– my students want to live.

But listening to the rhetoric and the maligning of the essential questions about gun control, mental health, and school safety in our country I really have had to ask myself, “Do we want the same thing for them? Do we want my students to live?” Your faith in humanity may have shrunk a bit too at the apathetic responses from representatives, politicians, and spokespersons who upheld the status quo so unmoved by the honest expressions and questions of grief from our youth and their parents.

Why can my students see that the conversation does not logically need go to the extreme of revoking the Second Amendment, but that it would be reasonable for us to speak about universal background checks, and cooling-off periods, and training for the opportunity to buy a firearm? Why does the conversation become the fact that more people die in cars than by gun-shot wounds before we talk about banning assault weapons and making bump stocks illegal?

Why does the conversation become the idea that if guns are regulated they will no longer be available to citizens but only to criminals rather than discussing common sense methods of mental health screenings for those who want to purchase firearms? Why does the conversation become arming teachers and other militant policies that include more guns rather than examining societal support of those who struggle with conditions of mental illness? Do we worship the Second Amendment and its economic and political gains more than the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Because from my vantage point this week, we do.

Because if all I have in my tool-kit is to continue to train students to duck low and move swiftly to the back of the room. That I will look out into the hall to bring passing students into our classroom the way Scott Beigel did when he was shot. That I will lock and barricade the door with a tall wooden pallet that ironically bears a peace sign. That we will break the glass in the window, hurling desks at it if need be, and exit out as swiftly as we can toward the street. That they need to run as fast as they can to the road without stopping. It feels akin to telling students to “duck and cover” in the event of an atomic bomb, with the full knowledge that all that will be left is their nuclear shadow as a reminder of their existence.

I want you to know these details because I want you to know that I want each and every child in my classroom to live. We talked in specifics. But are we as a society going to work together to ensure that safety? Now is the time that will tell. “Would you carry a gun, Mrs. Dickson?” my students asked, his hazel eyes serious, his mouth poised in a firm straight line once the question exited his mouth. He wanted to know if I would carry a weapon at school, if I would get a concealed carry permit to bring a weapon into my classroom. He didn’t ask in rancor or in pleading. He simply wanted to know what I would do to save him and his classmates in the event of a mass shooting.

What would I do? I had already asked myself this question many, many, many times from the day that the massacre happened at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida to the day that a student threatened the school I teach in on social media. What would I do to keep my students safe?

It was one of those moments where time took on an eternal quality– still, gaping, telescoping toward my need to answer him. “I didn’t take this job to be in law enforcement, or to carry a gun,” I replied. “You have asked me a deep and philosophical question. I do not believe in guns for the taking of human life. You want to know if I would carry a gun to protect you, but I want to know why [a teacher] carrying a gun would be our first line of defense on your behalf?”

Perhaps it felt like a dodging, ducking, pivot, a non-answer like the many politicians and spokespersons we’ve heard from this week.  Maybe it felt to him like I fractured that student’s trust. My students, who will have to trust in my coping mechanisms in the event that a deleterious person plans our death, deserve answers. But I do know my answer to his question. “No.” No, I will not carry a weapon on a high school campus.

The words Alfonso Calderon, survivor of Parkland’s school shooting, rang in my ears, “That’s a terrible idea… As far as I am aware, teachers are meant to be educators. They are meant to teach young minds how to work in the real world. They are not meant to know how to carry AR 15s, they are not meant to know how to put on kevlar vests for other students or for themselves. This is not what we stand for. We stand for small policy changes, and possibly big ones in the future. Because right now I am pretty sick of talking about teachers being armed. That is not even a possibility in my mind. I would never want to see that and neither do they want to do that.”

I care about each and every one of my students deeply. Yet when an administrator asks me “How are your kids?” like Rebecca Berlin Field, I immediately jump into my role as mother to two young boys at an elementary school that seems impossibly far, and feels unpredictably vulnerable and reply, “I was so grateful for the Principal and over thirty staff and faculty who welcomed each and every student to school today. They were standing on the curb in six degree weather when my husband dropped my boys off.” Then realizing my mistake, I quickly say, “Oh, you mean my students. They are scared.” Because this question reaches further than the doors of my high school onto elementary campuses where tiny humans go to learn and to be safe, too.

How will we protect those young students like those in Sandy Hook? I realized this week that it is my turn. If I believe that laws should change, or that monies should be appropriated in a different or particular way, or that students should be protected it is my turn to step up and voice these opinions.

It is my turn to stand beside these brave students from my high school who are looking for real and actionable change to come from the debates surrounding the Parkland, FL shooting. Small changes in national policy can lead to big changes in the safety that exists (or doesn’t) in our schools. It is my turn to be part of solutions that keep my children safe every day at school. The debate doesn’t need to be mutually exclusive, citizens can and do have the right to bear arms, alongside more reasonable regulation of these weapons. We can allocate funds for more sustained support of the mentally ill. We don’t have to throw our hands up in defeat simply because we’ve been asked to do something difficult. If I tell my students every day that they can do hard things, then I should be able to do hard things too. I hope as a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, an administrator or a concerned citizen you’ll consider speaking out on these matters.

Four Eyes, New Glasses

Oh yes, friends, it’s Friday! I have really enjoyed publishing theses posts each week because it means that the weekend is always in sight! Speaking of sight, how do you like my new specs? I decided to go with Warby Parker’s Blair.

Hearts, Flex Spending, and Real Savings

The day of hearts and love is upon us. I don’t really care whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, I hope you still take a moment for some self-reflection and self-love sometime this month. This top adds the perfect amount of be-hearted spice to my wardrobe. I actually bought it last year in anticipation of V-day before I began my No New Things Challenge. Bonus, it’s now on sale!

Groovy Stripes: Outfit Repeats and a NNTC Update

This week was an absolute bear. Work was pressing. We had a sick little babe at our house. I have to give thanks and praise to my husband and my mom and dad for helping our sick kiddo to have time to heal and get back on his feet. We found out on Thursday night he had step throat, now with antibiotics he is finally getting better!

No New Things Update

First, let me say thank you for the words of support, encouragement, interest and excitement in my year of no shopping challenge. I will need all of the good karma out there to nail this. (Big wry smile on my face.) That said, I had some really wonderful breakthroughs this weekend in terms of my “No New Things” challenge.

The Last Sweater: My Year of No Shopping

Wherever you stand on resolutions (you love them, you pooh-pooh them, you think they may be an impetus for change, you don’t subscribe because you don’t see any value), I think that there is merit in examining your life periodically, and setting goals and intentions which move you forward as an individual.

This year I have one main goal I am focusing on. I am setting out on a year of not buying clothing. There are many who have trod this path before me: Colleen Bordeaux, Ann Patchett, James Clear, Cait Flanders, and more. Each one of these individuals had their own structure and set of rules for their shopping furlough. For me, this quest is one I’ve toyed with for a very long time. So why now?

Holiday Party Wear: Your Vote!

Look 1 : Velvet Camisole, Black Denim, Gray Cardigan, Leopard Flats, Gold Drop Hoops

This may have been one of my most fun social media interactions to date. On Thursday I asked my friends and followers on Instagram and Facebook which outfit they would choose for an upcoming holiday party I was dressing for.

Procrastinator’s Gift Guide

Gifts for Her:

 

Bike Commuting: 7 Facts

Image by LL Creative

Twenty-five days. This is the number of days I’ve commuted by bike. Far fewer than some, and perhaps more than most. This journey has been a cleansing one for me. Each morning I get the chance to send my gratitude out into the world as I roll along. Each afternoon, I have a moment to reflect on my work day and prepare for a good evening at home.

Eye Spy: Warby Parker Winter Core and Resort ’17 Collection

As winter’s shadows lengthen and the days grow shorter (at least until mid-December), it’s not too early to think about welcoming the New Year. In 2017, I tried to maintain a better balance– both mind and body. I’ve taken to bike commuting to get (and keep) me outside and moving, I’ve focused on making sure that we’re eating whole and healthy meals here at home, and I’m making sure that I take care of each aspect of me so that I am more prepared to be a strength to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my students, and the world at large.

The First Day of the Rest of My Road

1,000 decisions, properly made -Specialized Sequoia

The day has come! Today is the first day of the rest of my bike commuting journey. After writing a recent post about finding a new balance, moving into my second year of full time work, I realized that it was going to take even more focused planning to realize some of the goals and balance points I set for myself. An even more deliberate change of lifestyle was necessary if I wanted to reincorporate exercise, healthy movement, and cycling miles into my life. Here are a few factors motivating me to bike commute:

Outerwear in October

Early Fall

Jean Jacket, Fleece, Leather Jacket

Not all climates are created for layering, but I live in one that requires it. I still contend that even in a temperate climate, layering is possible if you evaluate your options. A jean jacket, blazer, leather bomber, or even trench coat are universal style staples sea to shining sea.

New Balance: Five Things I’m Doing To Renew Daily Equilibrium

With the beginning of my second year of teaching I’ve encountered the reoccurring matter of balance. We have on-boarded a lot of activities and obligations to our family life. In addition to working full-time I will also be taking college courses as part of professional development for my teaching licensure over the next two years.

Here are five things I’m doing to renew balance in the eternal quest for equilibrium.

Living Room Remodel: Boho Eclectic

When we moved into our new home I wanted to bring some added warmth and texture into our living spaces, especially the living room. Our previous home had a smallish living room that also served as the TV room (more on this later, as we haven’t even unpacked our TV and it has made me so very happy!).

One of the things I disliked about the previous space is that it seemed to serve as more of a walkway to the kitchen and dining room than it did as a living space. The furniture was nice, in fact we have only really added a few pieces in this new home. But it lacked a certain cozy comfortability I hoped to bring to this new abode.

The first thing we updated in our living room was the flooring. The house originally had carpet in all of the rooms except the kitchen. We replaced the living room carpet with laminate flooring. We decided to go away from the dark, dark wood we had in our previous house and instead go with a more natural walnut colored floor. I couldn’t be more happy with our choice. The floor is the perfect warm neutral tone I was looking for, it shows much less dirt and wear (hello two dogs), and I feel as though we’ll be happy with our choice for years to come!

I’ve already explained that one of the updates in our house was the new rug  top right in the picture above. It was a happy mistake because I originally purchased for the dining room but it was WAY too big for that room. In all honesty, we got the rug, realized it wouldn’t fit, rolled it out in the living room, and it hasn’t moved since! In fact, it was really the first piece that we put into our new home post new paint and flooring.

NEUTRAL BASICS

I’ve put together some mood boards of the process we went through to pick the rest of the decor. I started with some of the neutral basics I already had and added a few I wanted. One big addition for us was also a coffee table. Because of the size of our last living room, we had never pulled the trigger on a coffee table. We love our pick (we actually bought two coffee tables, but one acts as more of a side table), it is affordable, functional, and just the right size for the space. Unfortunately this couch is sold out online, but I’ve shopped some worthy alternatives at similar price points.

Mirror, Side Table, Tray, Shelf, Couch (1, 2, 3), Coffee Table, Coffee Table, Lamp, Throw

BRIGHTS and TEXTURE

After the basic neutrals, I decided that I wanted to add some touches of pink throughout the living room. I picked up the pillows and throw on sale at Anthropologie. My husband has given me plenty of grief about the price, but the rest of the pillows are a combination of old favorites from Ikea, and some refreshed cream basics from target.

We also picked up two of the Eve Buttoned Chairs from West Elm. I was adamant that we switch out my two woven fabric chairs for this microfiber because of the way that dog hair gets trapped in the woven fabric of our yellow chairs. I actually kept both yellow chairs because there is plenty of space for extra seating in this living room.

Rug, Pillow, Throw, Runner, Pillow, Chair 

LITTLE EXTRAS

Last, I wanted to have some decor in this room that was simply for looks! Now that my children are older, I don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will throw the small gold starburst sculpture, or if they will pluck a succulent out of the terrarium, or try to climb the ladder that is only meant for blankets.

Picture, Starburst, Succulent, Terrarium, Wall Weaving, Ladder

Fall Cozy: Splurge or Save

SPLURGE: Sweater, Jeans, Booties, Earrings

Fall– undoubtedly my favorite time of year– favorite as far as weather, favorite as far as food, and of course, favorite as far as fashion is concerned. One of my friends said it best when she wished for fall to span six months a year, and the other three seasons could fight over the other half!

One reason I love fall style so much is that it that it allows such cozy dressing. There is nothing more comfy or relaxing than slipping into a cashmere sweater to cuddle up next to the fire with a good book after work. (Yes, this sometimes still happens!)

I’ve put together two outfits, nearly identical in look, but one that is full of closet splurges and one that is easy on the wallet. I don’t actually own any of the items on the splurge list. I’m a first believer that as far as fashion is concerned, you don’t need to break the bank. I’ve put together another set of this same look to save you some dough.

The other thing you don’t have to sacrifice when you walk on the cozy side is style. In love with that slouchy sweatshirt you’ve had since college? Great! Add a pair of bold, gold, geometric earrings to spice it up. Still holding on to that perfect pair of distressed Levi’s you picked up at the thrift store three years ago? Awesome! Simply invest in a pair of killer booties– extra credit if you find some with rivets or embellishment.

Below is the same look as above but for less! What are some of your favorite fall fashion finds? I’d love to know what you think, and as always, I’m wishing you a wonderful day!

XX, Megan

SAVE: Sweater, Jeans, Booties, Earrings

Work it! Power Red

Scarlet, papaya, crimson, fiery sunset– all things RED! Have any of you ever been bold enough to layer yourself in this punchy color? One of the most iconic blogger-gals Blair (below), of Atlantic-Pacific, has rocked many head-to-toe red looks over the years.

While I don’t hide my passion for red, sometimes a simple coat or accessory is enough to bring that bright pop to your daily dress. Perhaps drenching yourself in vermilion hues isn’t your style speed. So while red is definitely on my style radar this fall for both work and weekend, I probably won’t be rocking any head-to-toe ensembles of this vibrant shade.

Instead, I plan to add some red on the accessory level. Here are a few of my favorite red outfit additions. Coat, earrings, pants, bag (on sale!), shoes.

Just one more look from Blair because I simply can’t resist!

Wearing This Weekend: Labor Day Edition

Shirt, Jeans, Sandals

It has been an interesting sartorial journey for me as I’ve return to the workplace. Before I was working full time, I often fell into the overdressed category. One of the reasons I clung to my style was that it was a way for me to set the tone for my day. I simply did not want to fall into a permanently casual vibe.

No judgement here. I understand that a lot of primary parents want and need to be comfortable as they wrangle small humans, schlep snacks and sunscreen, go from playground to carpool. In short, I get it. Active wear is important.

Now that I’m working my respect for weekend and lounge wear has increased 100 fold. I can’t wait to get home from work and throw on my Birkenstock sandals. Alleluia. I’ve pulled together a batch of looks from Madewell this fine Friday. Consider this some inspiration for your Labor Day Weekend wearing.

If you find yourself in the little town of Midway, Utah this weekend, be sure to stop by the pie and ice cream booth. I’ll be happy to serve you up some sweetness on a plate as Swiss Days are in full swing! Happy Friday, friends!!

XX, Megan

Shirt, Jeans, Mules

Shirt: The ruffles on this top are irresistible! This top also transitions easily from weekend to work week with a simple pant switch. Jeans: I have a fair number of black jeans in my closet, but I’d add this raw hem pair to the pack as a subtle, fun change. Mules: I am jonsing on these low-heeled shoes. These are also an easy weekend to work week addition to any closet.

Shirt, Overalls, Shoes

Shirt: Chambray is still one of my weekend go-tos. It’s comfortable, stain resistant, and pairs well with most bottoms. This top will be perfect for serving pie and ice cream at Swiss Days or spending the morning at your kiddos favorite playground. Overalls: If you’ve followed my blog for a while you know that I can’t resist a good pair of overalls, see HERE and HERE. Shoes: If I could justify another pair of sneakers these would be the ones. I love the cognac suede. These kicks are as comfortable as they are cute. If you haven’t jumped on the sneaker band wagon these might be just the pair to take you there.

Watch, Earrings, Sunglasses, Bandana

What’s a good outfit without complimentary accessories? Here are a few of my current favorites. Watch: I’ve been looking for a super simple every day watch. I’ll be wearing this for the work week and weekend. Earrings: Sometimes adding edgy extras brings just the right point-of-interest to an outfit. These earrings are an easy addition to any ensemble. Sunglasses: This pair of sunnies is still in my weekly rotation. Sometimes the classics– reach Ray-Ban Clubmaster– with a twist– meaning the crazy tortoise patters– are just the right amount of pop.

Cheat Sheet: Packing My Carry On to NYC

When prepping to pack for New York City I wanted to be sure I ended up with carry on luggage only. No need to tote your entire wardrobe across the country. Plus, I knew that part of our trip would definitely include some shopping; so if I went light, I’d be able to have room for some fun NYC finds.

 

Here’s what I ended up packing for five nights and six days in the Big Apple!!

Let’s start with the contents of my personal item. I opted for this medium sized Louis Vuitton tote— the sweetest “first year of teaching” gift from my husband. I really only need my wallet, sunglasses, makeup, and most importantly reading material! For my trip to NYC I’m taking along a digital copy of Holl and Lane Magazine.

Holl and Lane is a magazine dedicated to sharing stories that enrich our understanding of one another. This month’s issue focuses on mental health and destigmatizing aspects of mental illness that have often caused a gulf or separation between those suffering from mental illnesses and those who have a hard time understanding the reality of these diseases and disorders. It has been a refreshing read so far. Check them out HERE!

In terms of what to wear, I packed four easy outfits and one perfect party dress. I plan on wearing this plaid frock to Hamilton, and honestly cannot wait for the chance to take in a Broadway show. It’s been a few years (like almost eight years since I saw Wicked on Broadway). Below are my outfit picks for this trip (all linked below).

Instagram overload may be in order this time around, and I’ll be linking these travel outfit ideas on Pinterest, as well! Happy Wednesday, humans.

XX, Megan

T-shirt, Skirt, White Shorts, Dress, Shoes, Eyelet Top, Dress, Shorts, Ruffle Shirt

 

Garlic Shrimp with Cherry Tomatoes

This reciep posted last week, and I admit that it went to press completely unedited– no pictures, no commentary, nothing other than the recipe. I am updating it now because it really is SUCH a wonderful meal. I thought about taking the post down. I’ve never let anything publish on my blog that wasn’t written and edited before.

But this time I thought, “You know what, this is real life. Real time.” I.e. NO TIME! 🙂 And I let the article stay put. Now, a week later, I am showing up to add the appropriate photos, links, and this little blurb about my whoops!

This dinner was another Six O’clock Scramble* win? It was enjoyed by one and all. If I were to make it again, I might try it with the parmesan, as that would take it to a whole new delicious level. Beyond this dinner, thank you for reading, following, commenting, and supporting my little blog. I am still very much enjoying my tiny corner of the internet! Have a great Monday!!

XX, Megan

Ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp. butter
• 1 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1 lb. large shrimp (preferably US or Canadian farmed or wild shrimp), peeled and deveined, thoroughly dried
• 1 Tbsp. minced garlic, (4 – 6 cloves)

• 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved and seeded (poke out seeds with your thumb after halving)
• 1/4 tsp. salt, or to taste
• 1/8 tsp. black pepper, or to taste
• 3 Tbsp. fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped, or use basil
• 2 Tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

 Directions:

In a large heavy skillet, heat the butter and oil over medium heat. When the butter is bubbling, add the shrimp in a single layer and sauté them for about 2 minutes per side until they are pink and opaque throughout. (Meanwhile, prepare the green beans, if you are serving them.)

Add the garlic, tomatoes, salt and pepper, and cook everything for 2 – 3 more minutes, until the tomatoes start to soften. Stir in the parsley (or basil), Parmesan cheese (optional), and toss until the shrimp and tomatoes are nicely coated. Serve immediately.

*The Six O’Clock Scramble is a meal planning service to which you can subscribe here. For a fantastic price you will receive 8 weekly meals which means 8 recipes (main course plus a side dish), complete grocery list, the ability to tweak the number of people you are making for, and full nutrition facts.

PLUS tips as to how best to PREP your meal beforehand, add a punch of FLAVOR, and how to SLOW COOK almost every recipe if you’re especially slammed that night. This wonderful service really does live up to it’s name. You can come home at 6 p.m. and be sitting down to a DELICIOUS, HEALTHY, HOME COOKED meal by 6:30 p.m. most nights.

Celebrating Stripes! #nationalstripesday

Who has two bell sleeves and is excited about National Stripes Day?!? This gal! You didn’t think I would let #nationalstripesday pass me by, did you?!? I’m fully on board with this made-up holiday. Beyond the STRIPES, I hope you have a BEAUTIFUL Friday!!

XX, MeganShirt, Jeans (similar), ShoesShoes, Bag, Sunglasses, Lips

Meatloaf Muffins

I read an article today titled “The home-cooked family dinner: Yes, it’s a burden for moms but is it worthwhile?” from the Washington Post. The article isn’t new, dated 2014, but all of the questions may still be asked contemporarily. Do we really need family dinner? Is family dinner a burden that we, primarily women, should carry? Do the benefits outweigh the inherent struggle?

For me, the answer is undoubtedly yes, to all three. The takeaway, and I realize that I may be preaching to the choir here, was that family dinner is an integral part of working toward increasing the health of your family– not just physically, but mentally as well. Research shows that kids who eat family dinner five or more times a week are proven to do better in school, to be more adverse to drug and alcohol abuse, less prone to depression, and more likely to avoid eating disorders.

The more I learn about and experience family dinner, the more sold I’ve become. I really do need to give credit where credit is due and recognize Aviva Goldfarb and her meal planning service The Six O’clock Scramble because she and her team are the reason that our family dinners have succeeded.

I’ve written about The Scramble, and sung its praises here on Refined + Rugged more than once, but I really do credit the simple, straigtforward menus, easy grocery lists, and customizable meal plans that The Scramble offers for keeping us on the family dinner wagon for SO LONG- going on seven years now, I believe. You know it’s good when you’ll recommend it to every person you meet, call a radio talk show just to drop the name, and write Instagram love letters to the founder because you life has been so changed! 🙂

To my mother and close friends I’ve joked that it only took me eight years of being home to figure out how to make a home-cooked meal, but the reality is that there will be some trial and error if you do decide to jump on the train and begin family dinners.

However, an equally important reality offered in the article was that of dinnertime flexibility. Anne Kruger, former editor-in-chief at Parenting magazine explains, “I remember as a working mom dragging my kids to Arby’s after picking them up from day-care and kindergarten because I was just too tired to cook when my husband was out of town.” She continues, “I’d let them watch ‘The Simpsons’ in Arby’s and pray that nobody I knew would see me because of [my position] I should have been ‘doing better.’ Which is ridiculous, because we’re all doing the best we can.”

That is the ultimate truism. So this Thursday, friends, I hope you find yourselves in the kitchen, or find yourselves grabbing dinner at some fast food joint. I hope that you feel good about it either way! If you’re home, this meal was SIMPLE, DELICIOUS, and HEALTHY. All things I’ve come to expect from The Six O’clock Scramble which is still the biggest family dinner silver bullet I’ve found.

XX, Megan

Ingredients:

• 1 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1/2 white or yellow onion, finely chopped (1 cup)
• 1 carrot, finely chopped (1/2 cup)
• 1 tsp. dried oregano
• 1 tsp. minced garlic, (1 – 2 cloves)
• 1 1/2 lbs. lean ground beef, turkey or chicken, or use 24 oz. meatless crumbles

• 3/4 cup ketchup, or use tomato sauce
• 1 cup Italian-style bread crumbs (use wheat/gluten-free if needed),  I used almond flour with 1 1/2 Tbsp. Italian seasoning added
• 2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard (use wheat/gluten-free if needed)
• 1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1 egg

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  In a skillet, heat the oil over medium heat and sauté the onions, carrots, oregano and garlic for 3 – 5 minutes until the vegetables are tender (if using meatless crumbles, add them now too and cook for 3 – 4 extra minutes).  Remove them from the heat and let them cool for about 5 minutes.  Meanwhile, in a large mixing bowl, combine the remaining ingredients, then add the onion and carrot mixture, and stir thoroughly.

Spray a 12-cup muffin pan with nonstick cooking spray. Spoon the meat mixture into the cups, dividing evenly — each mini meatloaf should completely fill a muffin cup but won’t go much over the top of it.  Bake the meatloaf muffins for 30 minutes.  (Meanwhile, prepare the carrots and the potatoes, if you are serving them.)  Remove the muffins from the oven and let them sit for 5 minutes before serving, or refrigerate them for up to 2 days or freeze them for up to 3 months.

*The Six O’Clock Scramble is a meal planning service to which you can subscribe here. For a fantastic price you will receive 8 weekly meals which means 8 recipes (main course plus a side dish), complete grocery list, the ability to tweak the number of people you are making for, and full nutrition facts.

PLUS tips as to how best to PREP your meal beforehand, add a punch of FLAVOR, and how to SLOW COOK almost every recipe if you’re especially slammed that night. This wonderful service really does live up to it’s name. You can come home at 6 p.m. and be sitting down to a DELICIOUS, HEALTHY, HOME COOKED meal by 6:30 p.m. most nights.

Double Leopard Blush

Woo-weeee! I have to admit that this full-time working-mom business is NOT for the faint of heart. Forgive my little moment(s), sisters of the human race who have been doing this since their children arrived on the scene. Now, more than ever, I salute incredible women everywhere. Because WOW, sometimes it is not easy to be a woman.

You know, I know it is not easy to be a man, either, but do we always have to talk of ONE as if it undermines the particulars and hardships of the OTHER? Anyway, we’ve only gotten through Monday, and this week has already felt like a whirlwind. With dentist appointments, department meetings, and my hubby falling victim to some yucky bug– and I though last week was busy!

I truly hope that wherever you are, your week is off to a good start, even if it has been or is projected to become a whirlwind. I’m over here making lists, and finishing lesson plans, and doesn’t that title sound like an ice cream flavor– Double Leopard Blush? Maybe after this week has run its course I’ll treat myself to something yummy involving ice cream.

Happy Tuesday, beautiful people!

XX, Megan

Sweater (sold out but $, $$, $$$), Jeans, Bag, Shoes (similar, love these, cute update), Sunglasses, Necklace, Earrings, Lips

Eyelet on a Country Road

The sun is out! Or at least it has been for the past few days. Yes, this gorgeous weather has me all sorts of happy (as evidenced by that first picture). With sun, warmth, and signs of Spring everywhere I pulled out this perfect little white eyelet dress.

The blush touches also add a little bit of Spring. What I’m really hoping for is the weather to hold long enough to get some first road miles on my road bike this season this weekend! What are your plans for the weekend? Whatever you’re up to, I hope you have a wonderful one.

XX, Megan

Dress, Jacket, Shoes, Purse, Sunglasses, Watch, Earrings, Lips

Wearing: 7 Spring Style Staples

Leather Jacket, Eyelet Dress, Striped Tee, Distressed Boyfriend Jeans, Off-the-shoulder Top, Anorak, Sporty Kicks, Similar Earrings

A quick look at what I’ve been wearing lately. I love the opportunity Spring affords to layer pieces that may be stand-alone come Summer. Perhpas the most fun/outrageous/talked about item on this list are these earrings that I picked up on an after-Christmas sale at J.Crew. The first time I wore them, with exaggerated flares, patent cobalt pumps, and a cropped sweatshirt, I believe my husbands exact words were, “Wow. Those are a point of interest, aren’t they!?”

My oldest calls them my Mardi Gras earrings, and I did wear them to the Mardi Gras school fundraiser. My youngest, however, took a different bent, “Are those tic-tacs, Mom?” Beyond the conversation-inducing ear wear, I’m sticking to a mix of classic meets current in my wardrobe mix this Spring. Always stripes, layering with this brilliant leather jacket, and a touch of eyelet to honor the change of season. Though you better believe I’ll be sporting the leather jacket over the eyelet dress as temps change.

This pair of distressed boyfriend jeans has been my weekend jam. In fact, many days I come home from teaching and throw them on with an easy top to start homework and dinner with my littles. Though they are the epitome of casual, I’ll dress them up for a date night, no doubt. I love to counter rips with the most sleek high heels I have. If you’ve never given the combination a try, I dare you to see if you don’t feel sexy and comfortable all at once!

Have a wonderful Monday, friends!

XX, Megan

Oh, and this sweet frock! Because whimsical florals should always have a seat at the Srping style table, and I really have gotten so much wear out of this dress. I plan to wear it gobs through the Spring and into Summer.

 

Chicken Pesto Vegetable Soup

The following post is a bit lengthy, as I describe my experience on the Whole 30 this time around. If you didn’t come here for insight into the aforementioned diet, skip to the bottom of the post for the DELICIOUS recipe details for Chicken Pesto Vegetable Soup which I got from The Scramble*!!!

Whole 30 complete! In full disclosure. I did not accomplish the Whole 30. I had far too many slip-ups to call it such. The rules of the Whole 30 are that if you have a “mistake”– any sugar, any grain, any dairy– and you are to restart your 30 day countdown. That’s right, back to zero.

I didn’t restart. I just kept going. If I were to quantify how much clean eating I accomplished versus how many taboo ingredients I consumed, I’d say I ate clean 98% of the time. So the 2% was my downfall. These “mistakes” were all on the weekend, all with friends, all social missteps from my diet. I don’t intend to justify my fall off the wagon on the weekend.

The triumph for me in my not-a-Whole-30 has been that during what has been a super-busy, super-stressful, super-time scarce moment in my life I was STILL ABLE TO EAT CLEAN. I was still able to meal prep every day. I was still able prove to myself that it is possible to set and keep healthy eating habits even during times when food may not have normally been the focus. For that reality, I AM STOKED!

So the following are some of my take-aways from this round of the Whole 30. First of all, I am always so glad that clean eating shows me the quiet dietary extras I sometimes allow to get out of hand. It starts with breakfast. When I’m not Whole 30ing I almost always have Greek yogurt and a few tablespoons of granola for breakfast. These are my go-tos out of ease. It’s easy to grab a packaged container of yogurt and store a bag of granola in my desk at school.

But what is the nutritional value of yogurt and granola? If I am honest with myself, it isn’t very high. 150 calories with 13 grams of sugar and 12 grams of protein. Augmented by 230 milligrams of potassium. However, the calcium is minimal, the vitamin content nonexistent. Don’t stop eating Greek yogurt on my account. I’m sure I won’t. But there are better choices for breakfast.

On the Whole 30 I ate half of a roasted sweet potato, two eggs, and one sausage most mornings. I haven’t calculated the nutritional content, but I know for a fact that the sugar content in that meal is WAY lower in my Whole 30 breakfast meals than it is in a pile of yogurt and granola.

The Whole 30 also helps me to evaluate my snacking. I am prone to pick up handfuls of high carb, low nutritional content munch several times a day. While those bites might not add up to much in one palm-full, they do equate to more empty calories overall, everyday. Over time, those bites and bits at times become binges, and herein is where the problem really lies.

Whole 30 always reminds me that WHOLE food, REAL food, has the ability to satiate not only my appetite, but actually all of my body’s cravings. If a donut and an avocado had the same affect on my body, I could eat a donut a day for the rest of my days. The reality is that constant intake of processed sugars and fats equates to unwanted after-effects on my body each time I consume them. This reminder is key to eating clean and staying clean. It doesn’t mean I’ll never eat a donut again, but it does mean that I’d rather eat an avocado. Truth!

I always see the positive affects of the Whole 30, not only in my diet, but the eating habits of my entire family. My kiddos end up eating a whole lot LESS of the processed crap I sometimes allow to sneak up on the table and into their mouths (yes, this is the stuff they are eating whilst I am being apathetic). I love that we dispense with desert in favor of a piece of fruit. I love that the treats that sometimes linger on the shelves are absent because I’m not buying the for myself or for anyone else. I am pleased when my chicken little tells me that the pesto soup I made (the recipe below) ROCKED his socks off.

To me, these are all positive affects of the Whole 30. Including things like increased intake of ALL vegetables. Learning and remembering that flavor can come from herbs, spices, garlic, and the like is a dream come true for my taste buds. And speaking of taste buds, I feel as though my mouth always undergoes this shift where at some point in the Whole 30 I start to notice that my taste buds are really alive again, as I have previously saturated them with so much sugar that they fail to respond properly to whole foods!

So while my Whole 30 cannot rightfully be called a Whole 30 this time around, it is most certainly they way that I want to continue to eat on a daily basis. In fact, that is another thing that I was reminded of during this not-a-Whole-30. As I neared day 30 for the second time, I remembered my first Whole 30– how excited I was to eat a sandwich, how I couldn’t wait to bite into an ice cream cone, how tempting a donut sounded until the bitter end. This time I started to think about how I didn’t want my diet to change and shift and morph into something else. I still want to eat sweet potato hash and eggs. I still want to consume more vegetables and lean protein. I still want to be able to say that I went the entire week without desert. Not because I forced or convinced myself I didn’t need sugar, but because I didn’t even WANT it!

One indulgent meal once and a while will not keep me from my health goals, but allowing myself simple sugars, and over-processed food day-in and day-out will eventually derail my health and fitness goals. My plan is to complete a mistake-free Whole 30 when we return from vacation in April. At this point, I feel confident in my ability to stay on the train without looking back! On with the recipe! (And your day, if you really hung in here for the entire play-by-play!) Happy Thursday!

XX, Megan

Ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp. canola or vegetable oil
• 4 carrots, sliced
• 4 stalks celery, sliced
• 1 small yellow onion, diced
• 15 oz. extra-firm tofu, drained and diced, or use 1 lb. chicken breast, diced

• 28 oz. diced tomatoes, with their liquid
• 32 oz. reduced-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
• 1/4 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
• 3 Tbsp. basil pesto, or more to taste

Directions:

 Heat a large saucepan or stockpot over medium to medium-high heat, and add the oil. When it is hot, add the carrots, celery and onions. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the tofu (if using chicken add it about 6 – 8 minutes before the soup is done), tomatoes and broth, cover it and bring it to a boil.

Remove the cover and simmer the soup for 15 – 20 minutes until the vegetables are very tender. Stir in the parsley and pesto and let the flavors meld for about 1 minute before removing from the heat. Serve it immediately or refrigerate it for up to 3 days.

This recipe’s original side was a loaf of Italian bread. Instead of bread, I opted for Roasted Spicy Sweet Potato Bites.

• 2 large sweet potatoes, cut into one, two, or even three inch cubes
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp smoked paprika
• 1 tsp rosemary (or you can use thyme or basil or parsley)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 black pepper
• 1/4 tsp cayenne
• 2 tbsp olive oil

Preheat your oven to 450. Chop the sweet potatoes and put them into a medium sized bowl. Add the olive oil. Mix the dry ingredients together. Toss the sweet potatoes with the olive oil and herbs. Bake for 35-45 minutes turning once halfway through baking. Enjoy!!

*The Six O’Clock Scramble is a meal planning service to which you can subscribe here. For a fantastic price you will receive 8 weekly meals which means 8 recipes (main course plus a side dish), complete grocery list, the ability to tweak the number of people you are making for, and full nutrition facts.

PLUS tips as to how best to PREP your meal beforehand, add a punch of FLAVOR, and how to SLOW COOK almost every recipe if you’re especially slammed that night. This wonderful service really does live up to it’s name. You can come home at 6 p.m. and be sitting down to a DELICIOUS, HEALTHY, HOME COOKED meal by 6:30 p.m. most nights.

Delicate Floral and Edgy Leather

There are MANY wonderful reasons to love maxi dresses/skirts. Maxies make your legs look miles long, especially in heels. Your gams can go unshaved and untanned without undue attention, and elongated hems are perfect in bluster and wind which might make dresses of lesser length blow sky high!

For all of my Maxi love, I don’t own many. But when I saw this gem on a recent shopping trip I knew I had to have it for Spring. I’ve already worn it a handful of times– once to a fancy dinner, and another to a friend’s housewarming party. I love that a maxi dress is easy to layer, making it more wearable as the weather takes its Lion-and-Lamb way with us this March.

I’d go on about this leather jacket, too, because it is soft and buttery and adds just the right amount of edge to any look. But I’ll save that for another day. I’m sure I’ll be wearing it again and again and again. Have a beautiful Tuesday, friends.

XX, Megan

Dress (short version, here), Leather Jacket (also here), Heels (similar, similar, and here), Purse, Earrings, Lips

Connect the Dots

The addage work hard, play hard has new meaning as a full-time working mom. Sometimes I come home so exhausted on Fridays that I wonder if I remember my own name! But truly, by the time the weekend rolls around it is hard for me to balance my desire and need for relaxation with my desire to play and step out of the working world for a moment. To shake it off, just like Taylor Swift.

This past weekend we went to the annual fundraising dinner for out boys’ school. The theme was Mardi Gras so we donned masks, black tie attire, picked up some of our dearest friends, and went out on the town! We had the BEST time! We owe a huge thank you to the organizers, our awesome PTA president, the faculty and staff at Soldier Hollow. I mean when you get to learn a new line  dance to “Uptown Funk” from your kids’ secretary, you know it’s been a night to remember.

Today, the grind continues. But here is some polka-dot love for your Tuesday. I hope you have a wonderful week, and that your weekend is filled with some “Uptown Funk!”

XX, Megan

Shirt (J.Crew, similar), Jeans (J.Crew), Shoes (J.Crew), Bag (J.Crew, similar), Sunglasses (Prada), Ring (Madewell), Lips (Stilla)

J.Crew Wishlist

Do any of you save items you are thinking about purchasing to a wishlist or favorites application on your prime shopping sites? Truth be told, I often fill shopping carts up across the web. Things I like, things I’m lusting after, even things that I will never, ever buy. These items include anything I find interesting, unique, novel, or simply out of my budget. (Hello, simple Gucci slides of my dreams.)

Today I’m sharing some of the loot on my wishlist. Whether or not this stuff really makes it into the cart doesn’t matter. Sometimes it’s just fun to share style inspiration you’re playing with.

Happy Thursday, friends!

XX, Megan

Here goes! (Linked Left to Right, Top to Bottom)

Silk cami, Off-the-shoulder top, Lips sweater, Striped shirt, Dressy top

Casual turtleneck, Leather jacket, Jean jacket, Red coverup, Flowery pjs (sold out, similar)

Black bandeau, Lip stain, Spring jeans, Perfect sandals, Bikini bottoms

Black carry-all, Not-your-average hoops, Simple sunnies, Locket, Polka-dot pouch

Oh, and just one more because!

So Bright Pink

I wore this top to school last week and these were some of the comments I got, “WOW! You’re just… so bright!” “Are you over there? I can’t see you.” “My eyes! I think you’re the brightest thing I’ve seen all day.”

All the talk made me smile. I love wearing brights in the winter. Almost as much as I love wearing bright lip stick :). I’ve found that color saturation gives me a little boost of energy on what otherwise might be a monocolor day– white and gray.

I shopped this shirt (now 40% off!) below, as well as the skirt version of this print. I’m half tempted to buy the skirt and wear them together in a shockingly pink combo!! Have a happy Tuesday, peeps!

XX, Megan

Top (J.Crew (40% off!), skirt version), Jeans (Madewell), Shoes (J.Crew, similar), Bag (J.Crew), Coat (J.Crew), Sunglasses (Karen Walker), Bracelet (Kate Spade)

 

Eggs Florentine for Two

The only thing I regret about this meal is cracking my poached egg! 🙂 It was perfectly cooked, but when I went to plate that baby it just kept rolling off– first one way and then the next. That egg did not want to stay put, and I ended up puncturing it with my spoon. Woops!

The idea for this meal came when I was left with two perfect handfuls of spinach that were not enough to constitute two full salads, too much to put into two omlets, and not quite enough to justify cooking up a quiche.

This breakfast, which could just as easily serve as brunch, also came about because of our sweet potato hash burnout. We’ve been munching on sweet potato hash for nearly every breakfast since we began the Whole30, but have needed to come up with some more creative, i.e. different forms of breakfast now that we’re nearly two weeks in.

The results were truly scrumptions. You can make this dish for 4 by simply doubling the recipe but as I knew it wouldn’t be a hit with my kiddos, I simply made it for my husband and me. As with all recipes here on Refined + Rugged, I’d love to know what YOU think!

XX, Megan

Ingredients

4 slices turkey bacon (or prosciutto)

1 tbs. coconut oil

1/4 onion diced small

1 clove garlic

2 cups baby spinach

Dash of nutmeg

1/4 cup coconut milk

1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus extra for seasoning

Freshly ground black pepper

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

2 eggs, at room temperature

1 cup of grape tomatoes halved

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees with the oven rack in the center of the oven. Spray a baking sheet with cooking oil. Lay the bacon on a baking sheet and bake until crispy 8-10 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a medium skillet, heat the coconut oil and saute 1/4 of an onion stirring frequently until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for about 30 seconds until fragrant. Add the spinach and nutmeg and cook until the spinch is wlited, about 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in the coconut milk and bring the mixture to a simmer. Stirring occasionally, cook for an additional 5 minutes until the mixture thickens. Remove pan from heat and season with salt and pepper.

Fill a small saucepan with 3 inches of water. Add 1 tablespoon salt and 1 tablespoon lemon juice. Bring the water to a simmer over medium heat. Crack an egg into a small bowl, be careful not to break the yolk. Slide the egg into the water, then stir carefully for 2 to 2 1/2 minutes until the white is set and the yolk is still soft. Using a slotted spoon, remove the egg and drain on a paper towel. Repeat with the remaining egg.

Place 1/2 cup tomatoes on each salad plate and season with salt and pepper. Place two strips of bacon over the tomatoes. Spoon 1/2 of the spinach sauce over the bacon (or proscuitto). Top with a poached egg and add salt and pepper to taste. Serve warm.

Cozy Transitions = Spring Sweaters

On Tuesday, I posted a laid-back date night look for my Valentine’s night out featuring a classic cashmere sweater. And last week on Instagram I featured this cozy lace-up sweater from Target’s Who What Wear collection that I styled with leopard flats and ripped skinnies for the perfect after-work ensemble.

Today, in the spirit of seasonal transitions, I’ve shopped some sweaters that are perfect for the Winter to Spring thaw in kissy combinations of red, pink, white, and stripe!! Enjoy! ❤

Linked left to right, top to bottom:

Lightweight wool bow, Side-slit with ties, Striped V-neck, Lace-back window pane jacquard, Tassel pullover, Merino wool cardigan, Tippi with embroidered lips, Lace-back pullover, Textured with anchor buttons, Structured stripe in orange motif, Winter whisper in ivory, Barnemme tiered pullover

Happy Valentine’s Day!

XX,

Megan

 

I Heart Date Night

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. What are your plans. Not that this day need be spent differently from any other. I mean, buck the consumer based heart-sickness that is today.

Or revel in it! Buy yourself flowers, gift your partner some alone time, make homemade cards with your small humans.

For me, tonight is date night. We are headed to a favorite spot– Communal. I am excited about the prix fixe menu, and even more delighted to spend time with my love.

This unfussy outfit is what I’ll be wearing tonight. A night out that calls for a sit-down dinner also calls for some killer heels and these have been wardrobe workhorses through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now on to the day of love, and hearts, and too much candy. (Outfit links below.)

Have a beautiful Tuesday!

XX,

Megan

Sweater (J.Crew), Jeans (J.Crew), Heels (WhoWhatWear for Target), Bag (Madewell), Sunglasses (Karen Walker), Bracelet (Kate Spade Monogram), Lips (Mac Viva Glam)

Psycho Monkey Smoothie

Those of you who follow me on Instagram know that we started the Whole30 this past Monday. My husband almost instantly hit his low, and has been on a steady crescendo back to energy, feeling fabulous, and taking on the Whole30 like never before (last time he lasted 24 hours, this time he is reading food labels and abstaining from all things Whole30 taboo).

On the other hand, I felt GREAT when I started Whole30, and then proceeded to tank a little bit at the end of the week. This could also be the result of a demanding schedule. I’m teaching two cycling classes right now. One indoor cycling class at the gym, and a class at our local bike shop Slim & Knobby’s.

All of this to celebrate the fact that we have found the perfect Whole30 approved treat! Now when I say treat, I mean this loosely. Because everything inside the Psycho Monkey Smoothie from The Scramble is Whole30 approved. I have made sure that I don’t use this delicious drink to cheat myself. The Whole30 recommends eating three set meals, and encourages participants to move away from snacking.

Thursday night after my spin class, however, I was severely in need of a pick-me-up. Something that would give me a little boost, but leave my sugar levels alone. This smoothie is it!!

1 cup unsweetened almond or coconut milk
1/2 cup ice
1/2 cup filtered water, or use tap water
2 bananas, frozen
2 Tbsp. natural peanut butter or other nut or seed butter
1/4 cup cocoa nibs (also called raw chocolate or cacao), or use 2 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 Tbsp. chia seeds

Blend!

Only after seeing these pictures did I realize that I left out the unsweetened shredded coconut. I don’t recommend doing this, but our smoothie was delicious, nonetheless.

*The Six O’Clock Scramble is a meal planning service to which you can subscribe here. For a fantastic price you will receive 8 weekly meals which means 8 recipes (main course plus a side dish), complete grocery list, the ability to tweak the number of people you are making for, and full nutrition facts.

PLUS tips as to how best to PREP your meal beforehand, add a punch of FLAVOR, and how to SLOW COOK almost every recipe if you’re especially slammed that night. This wonderful service really does live up to it’s name. You can come home at 6 p.m. and be sitting down to a DELICIOUS, HEALTHY, HOME COOKED meal by 6:30 p.m. most nights.

Workwear Wednesday

Friends, readers, blog followers, HELLO! What a month it has been, and maybe even a little longer than that since I last posted. The beginning of my school year has been a whirlwind– equal parts exciting and overwhelming. I am really loving my time in the classroom. It has been a joy to be able to teach, listen, read, discuss, and see my students growing already!!

I have yet to figure out how this blog will play out in the shape of my current life. The real kicker at this point is TIME. Time for it all. I am sure that many of you can relate to having so much to do, and seemingly so little time to do it all! I am also trying to be conscious of balance! Does that even exist? I posted about BALANCE in the past, and I am echoing my past thoughts when I say that finding that groove, that perfect mix-of-it all is nearly impossible.

However, I also want to eschew BUSINESS or saying that I am busy for the sake of begin busy! I really loath the word busy. I think it has become an excuse for EVERYTHING. Perhaps I will succeed in my effort to label my life and my work inside the home and outside as ENGAGED. At this point it feels as though we are ENGAGED in working on something AT. ALL. TIMES.

I told a close friend that I have felt that if I am sitting down at any point in the day, twiddling my thumbs, I am most definitely missing the point because the TO-DO list is longer than the good folks on Santa’s scrolls!!! 🙂

In this spirit of hanging on to my little piece of the inter-webs, I wanted to give you a little look at my Work Wardrobe. Some of these items are in my closet, some of them are on my wish list, some of them are simply pieces that I think are great in a capsule workwear collection.

I’ve linked all of them below for your shopping pleasure, and I hope to see you back here in the next week or so with some more daily lifestyle inspiration!! Wishing you a Happy Wednesday, and a wonderful rest of your week!

XX, Megan

Toppers: jacket, cardigan, scarf, leather jacket, long cardigan

Shirts: ballet, ruffles, stripe, peplum, swiss dot

Pants: wide leg, leather, pencil skirt, ankle length, straight leg

Bags: burgundy satchel, transport tote, leopard cross-body, backpack, cross-body saddle bag

Shoes: mules, brogues, wedges, flats, boots

The Greatest (Unlooked For) Endeavor of my Life

Change. Change is not a concept I am ever fond of or comfortable with. I’d generalize and say that “no one likes change”, but my partner seems to thrive on the stuff so I can’t pen sweeping falsities as per a marriage to a living, breathing human who jams on just that– change. If I have learned anything from my time on planet earth it is that CHANGE is a near constant and there is no perfect, or un-messy, or manageable way to transition with every change.

We are about to experience some real CHANGE around these parts as I go to work full-time. This change has me feeling all of the feels– I’m up, I’m down, I’m excited, I’m sad. There are reasonable explanations and scenarios for every one of these emotions, and then there is the reality that this transition is simply emotional for me. I have spent the last eight years at home with my babies. It has been this golden, magical, building, difficult, taxing, head-tripping, sanity-questioning, constantly self-examining experience. In the end, it has been the hardest, best thing I have ever done.

I have wanted to write a magnum opus to motherhood, if you will, since realizing the enormity of the changecomingatuslikeafreighttrain. A celebration of the JOY, the LIGHT, the LOVE I have found in this job called Mom that I did not look for when I planned my life. A space and a time that I didn’t know I wanted, or needed, or would treasure so deeply. I have wanted to share the gift, the fulfillment, and the hardship of primary parenting for a while now on the blog. But I haven’t found a profound, or extraordinary way to do it.

Of course there are already beautiful things written about the goodness and the difficulty of trying to be a stay-at-home parent and juggle career and creativity. One of the best was penned by Rufi Thorpe for Vela Mag, “Mother, Writer, Monster, Maid”. I could not say AMEN enough times as I read this piece. The struggle to create, to think, to ponder, to write, to reach into those deep wells of art and creativity– it seems almost impossible to tap those beautiful places as a mother and home-front warrior.

Let me rewind for a moment. If you had asked me 10 years ago what my life goals were– parenting, child rearing, mothering– would not, not have likely made the list or crossed my lips. Let me be clear that I did want to have children “someday”. I did want to get married “someday”. I always hoped to find another human who would journey this life with me, and that our love would bring children into that journey, that life.

But I felt as though wishing, and hoping, and dreaming of becoming a wife and mother was a waste of precious time. After all, I only had one life to live, I only had one opportunity to enrich and and educate and increase my understanding of the entire universe this ONE precious time– my life. And no one could give me a time, or a date, or a place, or description of how this would all happen or take place. And so I felt that I would do best to put goals that were tangible, concrete, and achievable in my scope. It doesn’t bode well in my book to put “Get Married” on a to-do list.

However, I was never closed to finding my person. I was never opposed to having children. I wasn’t numb to being in love. In fact, on the precipice of my transition to graduate school I met THE ONE. He was dark and dashing, and I fell hard. When my life story– my goals, and decisions, and career framework– met the river of my love story– my care, my heart, my deep desire for companionship, and the person I had hoped for– the confluence brought me such elation and excitement.

I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have found my husband, my partner. That confluence quickly brought us our fist child. The I, me, my became we, us, ours. I’ve often felt as though that meeting of my rivers, the joining of my two stories came at the PERFECT moment. Don’t misread, we were still young, broke, and clinging to finishing a master’s degree and finding gainful employment in economically hard times– it was the height of the housing and banking crises in 2008 when we said I do.

The gift of our hardship, at the time, was that when we found out we were pregnant we knew we didn’t have the means to afford day care. If I had already been working rather than going to school, I am certain I would have stayed in the work-force as my children were born. Instead, because we lived in a very expensive area, it made sense for me to stay at home. Let me also be clear that I understand very clearly that financial hardship can cause a family and partnership to make the decision that BOTH parents MUST work. In other words. I also realize my relative privilege in staying home.

That gift– the gift of my being able to stay home– is one that has rolled forward into our home and family life for eight years now. My greatest endeavor, my greatest work has become this thing called family. If you could hear me weeping NOW at the opportunity to meal plan, and clean toilets, and BE with my children during their formative years, you’d think I had longed, and yearned, and KNOWN that I wanted to be a MOM for my entire existence.

Instead I can now sweetly, tenderly celebrate the opportunity to be a mother. I can see the greatness, the privilege, the importance and being with my children and family in this roll. I can say that it has been the greatest calling of my life.

However, as with all gifts there was a cost. The cost was the burden of our financial care and providing fell squarely and solely on the shoulders of my partner. My husband found a good job. He is the type of individual that poured time, and effort, and constant energy into making his work great. But that didn’t mean that every day he felt like smiling like Ward Cleaver as he went off to work. Our world looked very traditional, but there were costs that he bore directly.

The burden of providing is no small weight. It is stressful, and care-fraught, and tiresome, and endless. I know this because I have SEEN the gray hairs on my husband’s head multiply, I have sat in an emergency room while he vomited because of the skull crushing migraines he was afflicted with, I have watched as he has navigated and negotiated the corporate world for nearly 9 years now and it has proven to be unending, exhausting, often thankless, stress-filled work– day after day, year after year. I honor and reverence his sacrifice.

There were also these wildly frenzied moments of what-the-hell-have-I-done, I’ve thrown my career to the wind and I will never be able to recover it. There were flashes when I saw myself as the counter-feminist trope I so loathed: barefoot, pregnant, jobless, taken care of by my man. My mirror image did nothing to impress me, or convince me that I was undertaking greatness.

Here’s where the confluence of motherhood (or primary parenting because it is not always the woman who stays home with infant and toddler children) and career path hit some Class Five rapids for for me and for every other woman who has fought against the reality of a glass ceiling including unequal pay, lower promotional chances, and diminished leadership opportunities in the work force.

My sacrifice was also real. There is NO WAY to do both– to be at home with your children and continue to rise in your career. The two are almost completely conflicting goals. I hope there is no mistake that I am not advocating one way or another in this sacrifice. How could I choose for someone else what is right for them and for their family? I cannot.

And I have seen the reality of so many of these situations– both parents working full-time, single mother working two jobs, mother as the primary provider, families whose children are enrolled in all-day day care, couples who can afford a live-in caregiver, and so many more! But here, now, in this moment on the day I begin my job, I know that FOR US we did what we felt was right. It is that choice to stay home (that I also realize many people do not have) that I am deeply grateful for RIGHT NOW. I would not trade that time for the world.

Last night the tears flowed. Long and hard and sobbing, I mourned all that this change means for me. Maybe that was selfish but I am going to miss my boys SO MUCH. My husband held me, and told me that everything would be alright. I know it will. But there will be some things now that I won’t be a part of, some moments I will never have.

I will miss morning conversations over breakfast, and taking my baby to his first day of kindergarten. I will miss being a homeroom mom and volunteering at my boys’ school. I will miss being the one they need to call if a tooth is lost, or an owie needs tending, or one of them throws up at school. I will miss being the parent on point. I will miss being THE ONE.

My partner has never been on the outskirts of raising our boys, he is present and prepared. But he has been the sole provider for the past eight years and our roles were very firm. Now there will be more flexibility, now I pray to be malleable. I pray for life to delicately throw a bubble over my babies, but I know that doesn’t really happen. It will still be me.

I will still be their mother, no matter what. Maybe more tears will fall, but today I am ready to begin this new adventure as a working mom. I will still be their mom. I will still need to kiss their owie, and check on the status of their school day, and help out with homework, and pack lunches, and kiss cheeks, and be their mom. And I guess this change is teaching me that I really can do BOTH.

XX, Megan

All images via Aubreigh Parks Photography

 

Transitions in Cashmere

That’s me relaxing, just kicking back and doing nothing before I begin work on Monday. NOT!!! As my husband quipped, “Aw, you’re nesting!” And he is right. I’m reverse nesting. I have gone nuts on cleaning my house at the prospect of taking flight into the work world. I am preening and plucking and rearranging every stick and bundle of dry grass in my nest before I leave.

Another task on my to-do list is to bring up my winter boxes of clothing from the basement. Yep, it’s time to pull out the fall and winter wear. Normally I wouldn’t do this until late September, but I need to tap into long pants and long sleeves for my new job. So transition we will.

The truth is that all of these seasonal transitions take time. Sometimes they take a very long time! Going from Spring to Summer this year seemed to take FOREVER. So while you’re waiting for and anticipating fall, or praying for more warm weather and hoping that summer will linger it’s always fun to pull together some unlikely wardrobe mixes. A cashmere sweater and shorts, for example.

This is something I’m sure I’ll find myself wearing after school on the daily. Decorum and air-conditioning will keep me from wearing anything nearly this short in the classroom, but it’s always good to remember that there is no rule that your summer and winter separates can’t meet in the middle for a bit!

Not only are we trying to pack in all of the cleaning of things here at casa Refined + Rugged, we’re also trying to take advantage of the last vestiges of Summer fun! Today we’re heading to the river, tomorrow our favorite night-spot the local farmer’s market, and the rodeo on Friday. I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

XX, Megan

Sweater: J.Crew, Shorts: Old Navy, Sunglasses: Ray-ban, Earrings: J.Crew, Ring: Madewell, Sandals: J.Crew Factory, Bag: Madewell (not pictured), Lips: Mac Angel